How to Overcome Insecurity Biblically
Have you ever wondered if it’s truly possible to overcome insecurity?
I know I have.
I’d venture to guess every person struggles with insecurity in some way, on some level.
The things that cause us to be insecure are diverse, and so is the depth to which we struggle.
Some people can easily identify their specific area(s) of insecurity, while others can’t identify them with pinpoint precision.
Some may describe their struggle as minor, while others would say their battle is so deep it occupies much of their thought world and is an unwelcomed driving force in many of their thoughts and actions.
Regardless of the causes or depth of your struggle, any area of insecurity has the potential to wreak serious havoc on your life.
Saying goodbye to insecurity is possible, but there’s only one way to successfully accomplish this goal.
What is the definition of insecurity?
Before we dive into the solution, let’s make sure we’re on the same page in our understanding of the problem!
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, insecurity is described as the quality or state of being insecure: such as a state or feeling of anxiety, fear, or self-doubt.
Mind if I add a little color to this definition, as one who knows all too well the characteristics associated with living with insecurity? Let me preface this by saying my struggle was core deep to my identity, and my struggle persisted for an extremely long time.
Insecurity is associated with a deep feeling of inadequacy. It’s often associated with a sense of self-consciousness and self-doubt. A lack of confidence may underscore your thoughts and words, and this often spills over into your interactions and relationships with other people.
Fear of rejection and self-doubt may be common in your thought patterns and influence the things you say and do. You may overanalyze conversations and body language, and at times misinterpret others’ intentions as a result of insecurity. Poor self-worth and distortion of your significance can also be tied to a deep struggle with insecurity.
There is no “one size fits all” profile for the reasons why women battle with insecurity or how it’s manifested. You may be the epitome of confidence in one area of your life and at the bottom of a pit of inadequacy in another.
No one wants to be in the bottom of any pit, right? By God’s grace, His children don’t have to!
If my deep struggle resonates with you, be sure to watch the youtube video below – I have a message specifically for you.
What causes insecurity in women?
Sometimes we can connect the dots of life events that can trigger a woman’s struggle with insecurity. An unstable family life. Suffering any type of abuse – past or present. Trauma of any kind. A physical, mental, or emotional disability or illness. Suffering a significant loss. Not every woman that experiences these challenges will struggle with insecurity, but it can precipitate this struggle.
Satan does his best to lure us into a prison of uncertainty, doubt, anxiety, and fear.
Our own thoughts can also cause us to spiral into insecurity.
What are some things women feel insecure about?
It would be impossible to create an exhaustive answer to this question, but here are a few things that cause women to feel insecure.
- Physical appearance. Anything from head to toe – from hairstyle to shoe size!
- Body image. A profound source of insecurity causes much anguish in the hearts of many women that requires no further description on my part; just reading the words “body image”, and you know the struggle.
- Her relationships. With men. Her husband. Girlfriends. Acquaintances. Strangers. Family members.
- Feeling as though she doesn’t measure up to another person’s expectations – or her own.
- Social situations / social anxiety.
- Financial insecurity.
- Her capabilities as a mom.
- Her job performance.
- Her health.
Common things women do to feel secure – without permanent success.
When we feel insecure, our default response is to “do” something to make us feel more safe and confident. The following measures may help momentarily, but won’t last forever.
1. Pursuing security from a self-help mindset.
God didn’t tell His people to pursue their security, yet that’s often exactly what we do to feel more safe and confident.
I want to make the point extremely clear: there is not one thing wrong with any of the following things – it’s when we look to them to define the bedrock of our assurance, confidence, and self-esteem that we get into trouble!
Here are a few examples:
- Make more money. Save more money.
- Climb the corporate ladder.
- Elevate your style.
- Increase your confidence through your appearance.
- Establish your significance.
- Earn your way to importance.
- Change the way your body appears.
- Acquire new friendships to help boost your social standing.
- Pursue success in the workplace.
- Position yourself for recognition for a job well done.
While we may experience a temporary boost of confidence or relief from anxiety by achieving some of the above, it won’t last forever. When it fades, the same nagging anxiety that propelled you to take action will return, fueling the cycle of looking to yourself to be your ultimate source of assurance.
2. Seeking assurance from other people.
We will never become more secure by trying to fit in with any in-crowd or seeking acceptance from people.
Be careful you don’t place attributes on people that only belong to God.
People are incapable of loving and providing for us perfectly – only God can.
People’s strength, health, and physical life are not everlasting and eternal – only God is.
We need to be cautious not to place unfair expectations on others and mistakenly look to them for the stability only God can provide.
3. Looking to our society and culture to feel safe.
Our world is in chaos. Our stabilizing ground doesn’t originate on planet Earth!
Society compels us to look to the world to make us feel safe and confident, but we’ll never find the stability our soul craves in our leaders, policies, government, or legislation.
Common ways insecurity is manifested in a woman’s life.
It would be impossible to list every way insecurity is manifested in a woman’s life, but here are a few common ways:
- Perfectionism.
- Self-critical or harsh with yourself.
- Self-condemning thoughts. For example, “Why did you just say that – you sounded so stupid!” “Why can’t I do anything right!”
- Comparing yourself to other people while feeling inadequate.
- Being super critical of others in comparison to yourself.
- Asserting control or dominance over other people.
- Talking about others in a negative light in order to make yourself appear superior.
- You may be like a social chameleon, changing your preferences, attitudes, and stances on subjects depending on who you’re around for their approval and acceptance.
- You may struggle with fear, anxiety, fear of rejection, and/or abandonment.
- Question if your emotions are justified.
- Struggle with indecision.
- Struggle with jealousy.
Enough of examining the problem. Let’s turn the corner and start talking about the solution!
We need to identify where we place our security.
Before we go any further, please hear me when I say to you that there is not one thing wrong with having or enjoying any one of the following things! The issue at hand is not us having them or engaging with them – it’s the position of our mind and heart toward them and whether we are rooting our security in them.
Let’s do a self-analysis and identify where we’re placing our security.
1. Our Performance and Abilities.
Do you rely on your performance at home or in the workplace to feel confident and secure?
What happens to your security when your performance is less than stellar? When you have an “off day” does this significantly impact your self-esteem and confidence?
What will happen if (and or when) you physically can’t perform any longer for whatever reason?
2. Our stuff.
Do you look to the acquisition of things to feel significant and safe? Your bank account? Your house? Items in your house, jewelry box, closet, or dresser drawers?
Riches can be here today and gone tomorrow. Will your security go up in smoke if that were to happen? What if you no longer had the means to maintain your stuff?
3. Our Appearance.
Need to look a certain way in order to feel comfortable in your own skin? Does your feeling of security wane with the reflection in the mirror or the number on your scale?
Does your appearance have too much influence on your assurance? Physical changes occur for a variety of reasons; what happens to your self-esteem and confidence when they occur?
4. Other people
Do you place unfair expectations on a certain person (or people) for your assurance? Your family? Friends? Pastor or church leader?
What happens when the people you look to for your stability no longer meet your expectations or are no longer at your side for whatever reason?
An intentional shift is required to overcome insecurity according to the Bible.
While there’s not one thing wrong with any of the above things, when we attach our security to them THAT’S when we get into trouble!
When we allow anything or person to be our chief measure of stability then we’re placing it in a position of authority that’s meant only to be occupied by the Lord.
Our ultimate security must rest in who we are in relationship to Jesus Christ, not in anything we do, have, or accomplish.
Our security is nothing we create, earn, or attain in our own effort – it’s something God has established for us!
When we’re rightly related to Jesus Christ, we can rest in the most stable foundation possible.
He will never leave you or forsake you.
His love will never fail you.
His faithfulness endures forever.
His power is made perfect in your weakness.
His grace is sufficient to meet your every need.
Despite the chaos of this world, God remains in sovereign control.
Not because of the way we look, the things we have, the accomplishments we make, or the people we’re associated with, but because of who you are in Christ you can stand confidently knowing you will never be shaken.
Our ultimate security is anchored in our identity in Christ.
What practical strategies can replace insecurity with security?
1. Resist the temptation to anchor our assurance in anything other than Jesus Christ.
In order to rewire our internal security system, It’s imperative that we identify where we’ve incorrectly attached our confidence!
Unless we identify the areas we’ve misplaced authority, we can’t redirect them.
2. Detach areas of misplaced authority.
Once we recognize the areas of misplaced authority, we need to confess that it does not have the power to determine our confidence or assurance!
Unless you detach from misplaced authorities, you will continue to struggle with insecurity.
3. Look to the Word of God to find stability, assurance, and security.
Jesus alone can pierce through the strongholds of insecurity that have haunted and taunted you. Only Jesus can free you from the stronghold of insecurity and provide the firm foundation your soul needs.
You do play a role in this, however. You need to choose to realign your thinking to what the Bible says about who you are in Christ.
It’s not enough to merely know what the Bible says, however. You must believe and internalize those truths, allowing them to move from your mind and penetrate your heart.
You will always operate out of your belief system. For example, I can know the truth of Hebrews 13:5 that says, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.”
If I wholeheartedly believe this promise that Jesus will never leave or forsake me, then this truth will cultivate peace and will influence my thoughts, actions, and decisions.
Conversely true, If I know what this verse says, but doubt its truth, this will have a profound effect as I struggle with anxiety and fear at the prospect of Jesus leaving or forsaking me.
We need to reject lies that convey instability, inadequacies, and insecurities when they come into our minds and not dwell on them! Don’t give those taunting lies the precious real estate in your mind! Reject them as soon as you detect them.
After rejecting lies, you need to replace them with truth from Scripture that testifies to who God is, and who you are in relationship to Jesus!
In doing so, we take our thoughts captive to Christ as 2 Corinthians 10:5 instructs, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Bible Verses to overcome insecurity.
I recommend finding specific Bible verses that speak directly to your personal battle areas so you’re equipped to quote them in the moment you face temptation.
Here are a few verses to get you started in the process of recognizing lies, detaching your beliefs from them, and replacing them with the truth.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians. 4:13 NIV
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus, to do the good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Ps. 139:13-14
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:15
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, through its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” Psalm 46:1-3
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8: 1
If you’re having a difficult time finding a specific Scripture that speaks to your particular struggle, leave me a comment below and I’ll do my best to respond with one for you!
Love this blog. Thank you for starting this. I look forward to following you.
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post and that you’ll be following this blog. It’s an honor to serve you.
Very relatable!!!! Amazing how much truly applies to me. Thank you for starting this
You’re so welcome. It’s helpful to know we’re not alone in our struggle, isn’t it?
Wow! So much of what you say here regarding insecurity rings true for me. I was so encouraged by your blog post and then I watched your video and the story about the hand carved cross had me grabbing tissues! Even more encouraging is to hear that word “freedom.” To be free from the insecurity I’m struggling with is possible through Jesus Christ. Thanks for all the helpful information and practical strategies you shared!
Looking forward to future posts!!
The reminder that Jesus can set us free from insecurity brings a fresh spark of hope, doesn’t it?! May the Lord pour His abundant grace and mercy on you as He meets you on your freedom trail! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment; it’s truly an honor to serve you.