Bible Verses to Overcome Insecurity in Relationships

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These powerful verses from Scripture will help equip you to break free from insecurity in your relationships!

If a person struggles with insecurity, you can be certain their relationships with others will be effected in some way(s). 

This post identifies three common struggles a person with insecurity may experience in their relationships:

  • People pleasing
  • Comparison themself to other people
  • Jealousy

A person’s security must be rooted in their relationship to God.

No other person or thing is able to define our worth or establish our security.

Only God can:

  • Define our worth.
  • Love us perfectly.
  • Never let us down.
  • Never fail us.

Yet we often place these unfair expectations and desires on other people, who are simply not able to meet those needs.

These misplaced, unrealistic expectations become a breeding ground for contention, arguments, strife, negative feelings, and difficult situations.

Knowing and applying God’s truth regarding our worth and security helps prevent us from seeking to define our security in another person (or people). 

With God’s help, you and I can overcome insecurity in our relationships.

The powerful Bible Verses in this post will help us to align our thoughts with the truth of God’s Word so we can tear down any false beliefs we have regarding our security.

This will help equip us to break free from a stronghold of insecurity.

The peace of God can and will replace anxiety, stress, worry, and fear that accompanies the stronghold of insecurity as we tear down lies we’ve believed and acted upon and renew our minds with the truth of God’s Word.

Here’s the good news for those of us who struggle with insecurity and its negative effects on our relationships:

Children of God never need to remain captive to any spiritual stronghold – including insecurity, low self-esteem, or poor self-worth!

Breaking free from a stronghold can take a lot of hard work, but the power of God will always be victorious in every spiritual battle as we put on the armor of God and engage in spiritual warfare exactly as Scripture instructs. 

3 struggles God’s Word addresses regarding insecurity in relationships. 

Feelings of insecurity can be manifested in countless ways: people pleasing, comparing oneself to others, and jealousy are three that will likely resonate with many who battle with insecurity.

1. People Pleasing

The following words of Paul immediately come to mind when I think of the struggle with pleasing people:

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” Galatians 1:10

Do you struggle with people-pleasing?

Consider the following in answering this question:

  • Do you find yourself saying “yes” to commitments or favors when you know it would be in your best interest to say no?
  • Do you tend to agree with things people say during interactions – even if you honestly disagree with them?
  • Do you apologize excessively? (Even if you have nothing to be sorry for)
  • Do you feel uncomfortable if someone doesn’t like you? (And if you know they don’t like you – you may go out of your way in an attempt to earn their favor.) 
  • Do you feel responsible for how other people around you feel? Maybe you go out of your way to try to make others feel good or happy.
  • Do you feel a strong urge to have accolades spoken over you by others? This desire may be a strong driving force determining what you do – or don’t do?
  • Do you avoid conflict at all costs? You may make your way to escape ASAP as soon as the potential for conflict arises. 

Were you able to recognize ways you succumb to people pleasing?

mountains behind a lake

At one time, every one of the above tendencies was true of me. 

I want to share a couple of portions from the article, “Signs You’re a People Pleaser – and How to Stop”, written by a clinical psychologist, Adam Bornad from the Cleveland Clinic says:

“An Occasional “Gee, I’d rather not, but OK Fine,” isn’t so much a problem. The problem comes when people-pleasers mold their lives to fit others’ needs…”

The phrase, “mold their lives to accommodate others’ needs” (and I would add desires) really stood out to me. 

As followers of Christ, we want to mold our lives to conform to Jesus and His Word, not other people’s demands and desires.

When we seek the approval of others, we’re in pursuit of the wrong thing, and the following may occur:

  • We complete good works in the hopes we’ll be applauded and recognized by others. 
  • We make decisions based on what other people want or demand from us.
  • We move in a direction led by people – not the Holy Spirit.
  • Our motives are driven by a desire to receive praise from people MORE than the approval of our God.

There’s nothing like the personal testimony from a person who overcame a particular struggle, and here we have Paul telling us about the dramatic shift that occurred in his life regarding being a people pleaser. 

Remember, the Apostle Paul was a Pharisee before he came to know Jesus. 

Scripture tells us this about the Pharisees:

“For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God” (John 12:43).

 And don’t miss the phrase from Galatians 1:10 we read earlier when Paul said:

“If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

When Paul states “still trying to please people”, he implies that at one time – he did.

I think ALL of us will struggle with people pleasing from time to time – to various degrees. 

We need to examine our motives and the driving force behind why we do what we do, asking ourselves: “Whose approval is the driving force behind my actions and words.”

I want to quote once more from Dr. Borland, as this comment really made my ears perk up,

“While putting others’ needs ahead of your own, you give up your identity so much that it begins to wear on your own well-being.”

You give up your own identity…

Think about that for a minute…

When our identity is hidden solely in Christ, then it is much easier to follow HIS direction over man’s.

  • He is the supreme voice that matters. 
  • He is the One I seek to please above anyone else.
  • Our love of God trumps our love of man.

Pleasing Him becomes much more significant than pleasing others – because I serve Him as an act of WORSHIP.

This perspective is a beautiful thing that honors our God; He alone is worthy of praise!

I agree with Dr. Borland’s statements in the majority of his article, but we differ in our perspectives regarding how to stop people-pleasing behaviors.

We can’t break free according to our own way, our own plan, in our own power.

We need to know and believe the truth of God’s Word and lean into the power of the Holy Spirit as we strive to please our God rather than men.

We want a healthy fear of the Lord to rival any fear of man.

Remember… there is a distinction between knowing God’s Word and Believing it!

2. Comparing Yourself to Others

We’re so conditioned to compare ourselves with other people. 

Sometimes I think it’s such an automatic response that we don’t even realize we’re doing it!

Scrolling through social media can certainly pave the way for the “comparison trap” as we look at images carefully selected and edited for all eyes to see along with perfectly curated messages to convey the message desired by the one who created it!

Times of insecurity can be intensified when we spend too much time on social media in the midst of this struggle, and we need to consider limiting our use of it if we notice it having an adverse effect on us.

Without even thinking we compare ourselves to

  • The outward appearance of others 
  • The things they pursue
  • The way they run their homes, decorate their homes, and even the car that’s parked in the driveway!
  • Where they work – or if they don’t work.
  • How they spend their money.

This list could continue forever, but I trust you get the point. 

Negative thoughts start to brew, and the next thing you know we have a critical eye or judgemental attitude in an attempt to make ourselves feel better about ourselves, our situation, or our choices!

We may rationalize how and why we are the way we are… And why the other person is in the wrong (in some way, for some reason!) 

Pride may creep in as we try and tear others down in an attempt to puff ourselves up


Feelings of low self-worth can rush in like a flood, making us doubt who we are, how we’re living, the choices we make.

Regardless of how it manifests, the root is having our eyes fixed on other people and taking our cues from people rather than lifting our gaze to our Heavenly Father and humbling ourselves before Him.

When we take our directional cues from others, we’re conforming to the wrong things!

The Lord never called us to conform to others… but He has called us to conform to His own Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:12).

Reading and applying His Word enables us to renew our minds with Truth.

Rather than comparing our life to things of this world, we look to the calling He has for us and this invokes humility and propels us to seek and serve Him.

If we allow our comparisons of others to determine our steps, we’re serving our own desires, and following the voice of others – not our Shepherd’s voice!

A lack of confidence will result when we rest in our own abilities, or in our own understanding of who we should become… 

We want our confidence to come in who we are in Jesus Christ!

God alone reserves the right to tell us how we should conform our life, and it will be to reflect our God, and will be for His glory!

3. Jealousy

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice” (James 3:16).

For many, jealousy can have its roots in feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. 

A person may fear they aren’t good enough, they don’t measure up, or that they will be replaced by someone else.

Of all the negative emotions that result from insecurity in relationships, jealousy is extremely toxic, is hurtful, causes deep pain, and wreaks havoc in a relationship, workplace, or even in a Church community!  

Jealousy can:

  • Fracture a friendship. 
  • Cause tension in a marriage – or even result in its demise.
  • Cultivate distrust.
  • Ruin a budding romance.
  • Cause division and strife on a sports team.
  • Result in division in a workplace or community.

Alister Begg defined the following characteristics of jealousy: 

  • Jealousy cannot stand it when others are doing better.
  • Jealousy is sad at the happiness of others when that happiness is a result of the success of another or as a result of the reputation of another person being heralded abroad.
  • Jealousy makes us hostile towards people who never harmed us. (Remember Joseph’s brothers who hated him due to their jealousy regarding him being favored among them in their Father’s sight)
  • Jealousy may seek to bring about the ruin of the one we envy.
  • Jealousy fails to recognize God knows what He’s doing in the way He appropriates gifts to His people. (Who are we to be envious or resentful over the way He gifts others.) 
  • Jealousy is a breeding ground for animosity, strife, and quarrels. It can eat away at us, driving sinful behaviors that have disastrous consequences. 

If the Lord convicts us of jealousy, we’re wise to immediately acknowledge it, confess and repent from it. 

We must not tolerate the sin of jealousy.

The Bible is clear that it will take us on a path with ugly consequences.

Neglecting to deal with this sin can turn into a stronghold of jealousy, and the spiritual forces of evil will taunt and tempt you to stay in that place of spiritual captivity.

Remember Saul’s battle with jealousy? It turned him into a madman.

Good things to remember from the Word of God to be more secure in your relationships

Text on pin titled Bible verses to overcome insecurity in relationships
  • When we frequent God’s presence in prayer and His Word, we remind ourselves who we are in Christ as defined in the Bible. Genuine security is found in Christ alone!
  • Looking solely to other people to make ourselves feel secure will never be successful.
  • Worldly riches, outward appearance, all such things will come and go, but our relationship with God is forever. 
  • No person is capable of perfect love… Only God’s love is perfect. Don’t impose the unfair, unattainable goal of loving you perfectly on others… they are simply incapable of meeting that expectation. (And so are we…)
  • A child of God must recognize and relish in the love of the Father since He alone is capable of perfect, agape love.
  • Who we are in God’s sight must be what we anchor our security in order not to be pummeled by waves of insecurity that are sure to come. This truth is found in Scripture – we need to know what it says and believe it to be true.
  • We will always act according to what we believe to be true. It’s imperative that we know what the Bible says about our security and worth and then align our thinking accordingly, being careful to tear down any lies we’ve believed.
  • This battle begins in the mind. We need to know our identity in Christ as defined in God’s Word, then believe what God said to be true!

Related posts to Break Free From Insecurity in Relationships

How to Overcome Insecurity Biblically

How to Overcome a Stronghold

How to be Strong and Courageous (Joshua 1:9)

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